What makes place a home?

“The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave, and it feels even better to come back.”- Not sure who said this, but not me.

Just landed back in Japan from Seoul. Back to my little seaside town called Hayama. Feel sooo at home. There is one hour train ride from Haneda airport to the nearest station from where I will take a 10-minute bus home. On the way I have dived into the thinking. What makes house or a place you live a home? On a “technical” side I think our brains are more comfortable where they already are. And they give us a signal: you are at home, and you are good, relax, you can be lazy. But to break it down in emotional ways, it can be another interesting pattern of thinking. Take five senses for example.

Smells. I like how my current home smells. It is one of an old wood, because it is a very old building with closets and partitions made of different types of wood. Smell of the sea near Sinnase beach is close to the one of the fresh cucumbers. Isshiki beach has another flavor. And the smells of miso and grilled fish covering the evening streets of Hayama when people start cooking are peculiar and are a bit different from Sydney BBQ scents (also like them and enjoyed BBQing myself while living there).

Sounds. After a loud Korean subway (people vividly talk on the phones or some even play music), what I have considered a noisy Japanese teenager conversation a week ago sits well with me in Japan now. Much less decibels. Cicadas (semi), they are getting shy in late October, but still present. Train arrival sounds. No honking, in Japan people understand that cars are not talking devices…Unstoppable “thank you” and “don’t mention it” tirades between delivery people and home owners…

Views. Fuji.

Never enough for me. I winked at but did not get a response back. The old black cat which lives nearby. We often look at each other but have never shaken hands.

Tastes. I went to the local supermarket and bought octopus sashimi, oden and natto. These are foods I like to have in Japan and they make me feel at home, not only those ones of course.

Touches. How can I touch my home? I have entered the apartment and did some washing. Including handwashing my hiking shoes. I did some small cooking. I have touched the usual things and they made me feel at home. Tomorrow morning, I will touch the waters of Isshiki beach enjoying one cold water swim. It is also home.

Apart from the senses, of course, people. I did not put it upfront as I live alone (but never lonely). But if you are back home to your family this is the most HOME feeling of course. Then senses will do the cumulative effect. Friends, routines, all this adds up.

I have another home, in Sydney. This is the place I own, unlike in Japan where I rent. (I think owning a place you love make it a closer home). But after six years in Japan the Sydney place has distanced from me, may be culturally, as I have got used to the ways of Japan (been coming to Japan for work for the last 20 years also). Although I still like Sydney a lot. Before the sunset I used to like to crack a beer there and lean my back on the warm bricks of my apartment building at Clovelly beach. It was a touch connection and more. And I still remember it. It goes to another statement. One can have a few homes. Places and minds do develop a connection.

In short, and I have realized it at the end of writing this impromptu piece, the strong and sharp feeling of home is only possible when you leave it. Otherwise it is a routine . The more often you leave and come back, the sharper the feeling is. However, the long departure works as well depending on the connection. As much as I want to be the eternal nomad, I need a base, a soul base. And this is one’s home. In different variations.

What is yours?